


It's a Start

by hotfruits



Series: jeith discord fics [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (but for keith to shiro), Canonical Character Death, Cheesy, Enemies to Friends, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) Friendship, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Meddling, Moving On, POV Keith (Voltron), Platonic Cuddling, Season/Series 08, Self-Discovery, Shiro Knows Things, Slow Dancing, Unrequited Love, clear day, slumber parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-09-25 20:38:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17128349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotfruits/pseuds/hotfruits
Summary: it's never too late to fix the past.





	1. apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an apology, in not so many words, but in action, in giving something (or someone) another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un-beta'd. get ready for soft boys uwu.

“Hey.”

Keith raises a brow as he turns towards James, who is holding out a glass of some purpleish drink in his direction. He takes it and nods his thanks, but makes no move to take a sip yet. “How’s it going?” he finds himself asking, wondering what must be on James’ mind. They hadn’t really talked...if that could be even called talking, really, since James and Veronica helped him and Hunk out. Now, it’s their last night on Earth, before Voltron and Atlas leave for space, one final quest to finally finish this war once and for all.

“Nothing,” James replies, his tone curt but not necessarily cold. He knows for a fact that James has more of a personality than this, that he’s actually kinda funny, if given his interactions with Nadia and Veronica are any indicator, and that he’s also quite caring, given the way he’s always encouraging and working with Ina, never short with her the way some other people are, always wanting her to get to the point; and with Ryan, of course, the pilot obviously his best friend and most trusted companion.

He’s supposes it’s not surprising, that he and James aren’t close. After his dad died and he was put into foster care, he ended up at the same middle school as James. The boy had tried to befriend him, but Keith had rebuked his offer, his feelings too raw from the trauma he had experienced. James had immediately wilted and never attempted to engage with him again, unless it was to glare at Keith as he surpassed all of James’ scores or to tell him off for being a fuck-up and bringing everyone down with him.

He finally takes a sip of his drink, unsure of how to fill this silence. It’s sweet, something similar to grape, but not quite...his musings are interrupted though, when a loud cheer erupts from behind him. He turns towards the noise, noticing James does as well, and sees that it’s Shiro, sitting at a table with Iverson, Sam, Coran, and Curtis, his arm casually slung across the communication officer’s shoulders.

“They seem to be close,” James notes, gesturing towards Shiro and Curtis. “Are they…?”

“No,” Keith answers, his shoulders drooping inward. “He wants to, though, I think. He hasn’t said anything, but -” he stops, taking another drink, “You can see it in the way he looks at Curtis, ya’know?”

James nods. “It’s kinda how you look at him.”

Keith sighs, chugging the rest of his drink in one gulp. “You’ve always been too observant.”

“And you’ve always preferred to sulk alone,” James quips, and Keith can’t argue with that. He knows that he could talk to his friends, the way they’ve all come to him for help and comfort, but it’s...hard, to open up like that, to people who haven’t known him as long or as well as Shiro.

Except James, maybe, he realizes with a small start. Sure, they weren’t friends by any means, but technically, James has known him longer than anyone else.

“So, did you come over here to annoy me, or?” he can’t help but be defensive, feeling exposed under James’ watchful eyes.

James’ expression softens as he shakes his head, brows furrowing. “No, I just,” he looks uncomfortable, his hand tightening around his glass, “You looked lonely, and this is a party, right?” he smiles and takes Keith’s empty glass, “So, let’s party?”

A part of Keith wants to say no, to go back outside and sit with Kosmo, even if Lance threatened to kick his ass. A bigger part of him, though, recognizes a second chance when he sees one, a friendship being offered during a trying time in his life.

“Let’s party,” he smiles back and follows James to the drinks table, where Acxa is standing with the other MFE pilots, curiously watching the rowdy group of young adults. James falls easily into their camaraderie, showing that softer, sillier side of himself, while Keith allows himself to be pulled out of his shell, similar to how Hunk got him to relax around the Arusians, enjoying the distraction and the company they offer.

The hours fly by after that and soon the party is winding down. Keith feels giddy and his cheeks hurt from laughing too much. At one point during the night, he catches eyes with Pidge and Hunk, who both give him a solid thumbs up. 

“Good night nerds!” Nadia yells out, dragging Ina along with her. Ryan closes his camcorder and gives James a pat on the back, before following after the girls.

It’s just him and James, now. Acxa had left a while ago, rolling her eyes at these “silly human antics.”

“I think I need a little fresh air,” Keith says, folding his arms across his chest. “Wanna come?”

“Sure,” James nods and follows behind him. As soon as he’s outside, he takes in a deep breath and feels his flushed cheeks cooling down, along with his racing pulse. Social interactions to such an extent always take a little out of him, but he can’t find himself regretting it. He had fun bonding with the MFE pilots and knows his team would be proud of him. He’s always struggled letting people in, wary of their intentions and how long they planned to stay in his life...but his team have helped him move past that, helped him see that a life of isolation is no life at all.

“I’m glad you joined us,” James says, interrupting Keith’s thoughts and the quiet around them. “It was fun.”

“It was,” Keith agrees, finding it easy to smile softly at the other. “Thanks for inviting me...god knows why you did,” he chuckles, a little dryly, “I was kind of a dick to you.”

“We were both dicks,” James replies and now they’re both chuckling, glancing at each other. “But maybe things can be different, this time?”

Keith pauses. In the moonlight, James’ face appears softer, less hard lines and intensity. He’s reminded of that first day of school, sitting alone in the back of the classroom, so furious at the world for taking his dad away from him, for leaving him with nothing but uncaring foster parents. A young boy walks over to him, with kind eyes and side swept brown bangs. He introduces himself as James Griffin and wants to know if Keith wants to sit with him at lunch. Keith refuses, tells James to fuck off, and those kind eyes immediately turn dark, before stomping away.

“I’d like that, yeah,” Keith says, his voice quiet. It feels like a weight is being lifted from his shoulders, like he’s righting a wrong that is long overdue. 

“Cool,” James says, still smiling at him. Keith wonders if he feels lighter, too.

“Cool,” he echoes back, leaving it at that.

For now, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written for the jeith discord prompt 'apology'. ily guys.


	2. miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes, you gotta do something bold and unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un-beta'd. i'm having too much fun with these.

Keith hears the footsteps approaching before he hears James’ voice, chuckling softly at him. “What are you doing?” he asks as he stands beside Keith, who is sitting criss-cross in front of the Black lion, looking up at her massive form.

“Bonding,” he answers simply enough, turning his gaze towards James. “What are you doing?”

“You were supposed to meet me half an hour ago,” James replies, looking only slightly annoyed. Keith is puzzled, but only for a second, as he finally notices James’ workout attire and remembers they were supposed to meet up to train.

“Ah, right,” he clears his throat, holding out his hand. James rolls his eyes, but helps him nonetheless, quickly pulling Keith to his feet. “Sorry, got a bit...distracted. Trying to figure out what to do next.”

“Not really much to do at this point though, right?” James asks with a shrug. 

As much as he doesn’t like it, he supposes James has a point (and maybe he’s heard the same thing from Shiro and Lance already, as well. Only Allura seems to appreciate his urgency). They’d only left Earth a month or so ago and most of their time had been spent training. Shiro says he needs to have patience, that they’ll find the answers they’re looking for soon. Lance says he needs to stop being a mullet-headed bitch and enjoy the relaxation before their inevitable deaths.

It’s hard to relax, though, knowing that he could and should be doing more. So, he spends time with Black, allowing their minds to become one as they search the universe for answers, only allowing himself to be pulled away by his team. Or James Griffin, apparently. 

“You sound like Shiro,” Keith scoffs, running a hand through his hair. He just can’t shake this feeling like there’s something more going on, that Honerva’s plan might be more detailed than they think, and that they’re running out of time to stop whatever storm is coming.

James opens his mouth to reply, probably to say something sassy, but then closes it. He pauses for a moment, and then, “Can I see inside the Black lion?”

Keith wasn’t expecting that. Then again, he’d probably be curious to explore the giant robotic interdimensional space lion too. “Okay,” he nods, smiling as James lets out an excited whoop. 

As cool as he tries to be, he really is just a gigantic nerd.

He then turns towards Black, who lowers her jaw to the floor and opens up, allowing them passage inside. “Wow,” James says, his eyes wide with wonder and mouth hanging only slightly open.

“Come on, I’ll show you the cockpit.”

He leads James through Black’s enormous head and into the cockpit, which lights up upon his entry. James is still looking around with an awed expression, running his fingertips over the many buttons and control levers. His gaze finally settles on the command chair, approaching it with caution as if waiting to be rejected.

Black is only calm inside his mind, seemingly amused at the human. “Go ahead, take a seat,” Keith says, breaking the silence and causing James to jump, looking back at him with a worried expression. “Don’t worry, she says you’re fine.”

“She speaks to you?”

“Not in words, but,” Keith comes closer, standing opposite of James and leaning against the windshield. “Through feeling? Like a nudge against my mind, showing me which paths I need to take.”

“That’s so cool,” James gushes and plops down in the chair, immediately poking at the area where his bayard goes. “This all so cool.”

It is pretty cool, Keith can’t help but think. Exploring the universe, bringing peace and relief to so many species, it’s all very cool. After the Castle of Lions exploded, Keith wasn’t sure he’d ever get to experience anything like this again. Thanks to the Garrison, Coran, Allura, and Shiro though, they now have the Atlas, a new symbol of hope, a home for the paladins and the lions, and everyone else, as well, on their mission to save the universe.

Yeah, definitely very cool. It’s easy to forget sometimes, with worry and fear clouding his mind, weighing him down. He sighs and takes a seat on the floor, ignoring James’ concerned look. “What if we’re too late?” he asks, keeping his eyes glued to his hands, which are clenched tightly in his lap. “I get why it’s important to round up more support for the Coalition, and it’s not like we have a lead on Honerva anyways, but I feel like I could be doing more.”

It feels weird, talking to James like this. Usually these kind of talks are reserved for Shiro, or sometimes Lance or his mom. He knows it’s important to keep bridging this gap between them though, beyond just every other day workouts and eating occasional meals together. If he truly wants James to be his friend, then he’s got to let himself be vulnerable.

“I get it,” James says and he’s crouching down beside Keith and resting a hand on his shoulder. “And we’ll get answers soon. We just have to be patient.”

“You still sound like Shiro,” he says, but with less annoyance this time, and more appreciation.

James grins. “Come on, let’s go train.”  
It doesn’t take long for Keith to change into his under armor and meet James in the training room. He quickly spots Acxa, who is doing a one-handed handstand while pushing up, moving gracefully, and a few Atlas crew members, working out while off the clock. He vaguely wonders where Shiro is, since he’s usually off at this time as well, but doesn’t dwell on the thought for long. He’s probably meeting with Sam, or Allura, or hopefully, catching up on some sleep.

“Hey, space case!” James shouts, punching a closed fist into his hand. “You ready?”

“Bring it on,” Keith smirks, lunging at the other.

***

Things turn sour very quickly.

They gain more support, but lose Olkarion.

They find Honerva, but then lose her, as well.

***

Things begin to quiet down and Keith feels restless once more.

He trains, strategizes with Shiro, eats, sleep, spends time with his friends and family, rinse and repeat.

So, despite how much he argued against it, Clear Day is a welcomed reprieve from the mission. He begins to relax, little by little (especially now that he’s out of that horrid ride) and smiles as he sees his teammates and the crew enjoying themselves. 

As he makes his way through the festival, he finds himself entering what appears to be a small arena, where couples and friends are dancing to lively music. As he scans the crowd, he spots a familiar face and makes his way towards him.

“Hey,” he says as he takes a seat beside James, who is still cuddling his plushie.

James hums in greeting, still watching the dance floor. “Do you remember 8th grade, the winter social?”

Keith frowns, wondering why James was bringing it up. “Yeah, I remember being bored out of mind. Why?”

James shrugs. “I don’t know, was just reminded of it…” he looks like he wants to say more, so Keith waits. “I remember seeing you at the dance, looking miserable.”

“I was.”

“I wanted to ask you to dance,” James immediately blanches, “Not like that! Just...you looked sad, and I wanted to ask you to dance with my friends and I, but I figured you would’ve said no, so I didn’t even bother.”

“I totally would’ve said no,” Keith responds, hoping it’ll ease the tension in James’ face. It doesn’t, only causing him to frown more.

“I just...I wondered if I should’ve pushed more, with you,” his eyes fall to the floor as he speaks, clutching his plushie a little tighter. “I knew you were hurting, but because you hurt my feelings, I told myself you weren’t worth it.”

“You were a kid, James,” Keith lays a hand on his back, rubbing it. He wonders what brought on these solemn feelings. Is it just the dancing, or has James been feeling this guilt for awhile now, but just hadn’t brought it up?

They have been getting closer, but there’s still a wall between them. Keith isn’t sure how to tear it down completely, but he knows he can make cracks, little things to show James that it’s never too to start a friendship, even if it starts out a little unsteady.

He stands, holding a hand out to James. “Let’s dance.”

“...seriously?”

“Seriously,” Keith smiles, pushing his hand forward, prompting James to take it, to help him replace those sour memories with new, joyful ones. 

James takes his hand, still holding onto his plushie, as Keith leads them onto the dance floor. A jazzy, cheerful song begins to play, so Keith begins to shake his hips to the beat, wiggling his arms around like a silly boy.

“What the,” James cracks up, laughing so hard he’s nearly bent in half. “What is this?”

“I don’t know,” Keith shrugs and begins to do the monkey, “Dancing?” 

James continues to laugh at him, but begins to dance as well, bopping his head along to the beat. They’re laughing, entirely at each other and their horrible dance movies, and it’s the best Keith has felt since they left Earth. Could it have been like this all along, if Keith hadn’t turned down James? Could they have always been friends, instead of awkwardly trying to fix the mess their teenaged selves made?

Then again, who knows where they’d be if they didn’t have their rocky beginning. 

Maybe it was always meant to be like this...

The songs begins to fade out, and a slow, twinkling melody takes his place. A look of surprise comes over James’ face, as the flush he’d been sporting begins to spread across his cheeks and down his neck. “Uh…”

Keith grabs the stuffed plushie, ignoring James’ protesting whine as he places it on the floor by his feet, before looping his arms around James’ neck and pulling him closer. A beat passes, and then James’ arms are circling around his waist. They begin to step, side by side, moving in a slow circle as the song plays.

It seems like it should feel weird, but it kinda doesn’t? It kinda feels nice, to be held like this, to have James smile at him like that.

“I can’t believe I’m actually dancing with Keith Kogane,” James whispers between them, his voice a mix of sounding awe’d and amused. “It’s a Clear Day miracle.”

“Nerd,” Keith can’t help but laugh, especially when James sasses back with a quick “Emo.” Thirteen year old Keith would have shoved James for calling him that, but twenty-one year old Keith just keeps on laughing.

It truly is a Clear Day miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written for the jeith discord prompt 'happy holidays'.
> 
> ily guys.


	3. loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected friend helps Keith deal with the loss of Allura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un-beta'd, once more. also the next part is like almost 2000 words longer than this sooooo yay.

_you’re cordially invited to the “just in case we die tomorrow” slumber party in Lance’s room!  
starts in three vargas!_

_(seriously keith, you better come!)_

Keith is the last to arrive at Lance’s morbid, but well-meaninged, slumber party. Pidge is brushing out Allura’s long hair, chattering away about a new discovery she’s made, while Allura listens quietly, a tired expression on her face. Hunk, Lance, and Coran are engaged in what appears to be an intense game of Monsters and Mana. And Shiro...is looking at him expectantly, holding a container of face mask in one hand, a ponytail in the other.

Well, then.

“Where’ve you been?” Shiro asks as he begins to paint Keith’s cheeks a mint green.

“Needed a shower,” he responds, feeling his pulse quicken against his will. Shiro moves onto his forehead and he’s fiddling with his hands in his lap, wishing he had something to fidget with. Like a knife, or being able to run his hands through Komso’s fur.

“Training with James?” 

Keith nods, and Shiro hums in response, his eyes twinkling with mirth. “You two sure have been spending a lot of time together, huh?

“It’s not like that.”

“No?” Shiro asks, a smug grin on his face. “I saw the video from Clear Day, of you two dancing around. Nadia showed me, it was pretty cute.”

“God damnit, I told her to delete that,” Keith mutters to himself, ignoring Shiro’s pleased giggles. “Seriously, it’s not like that between us...James and I spent a lot of years hating each other,” he begins to explain, grateful for the opportunity to finally talk to his best friend; it’s been awhile, and while he totally understands Shiro’s commitment to Atlas and serving it’s crew (similar to his own duty to Voltron), he misses this. “And I just wanna make things right, ya’know?”

Shiro’s grin softens and he places a hand on Keith’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. Keith ignores the way his stomach clenches. “I think that’s really great, Keith. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” he takes a deep breath, telling himself to relax. “So, how many minutes till I can wash this off?”

Shiro laughs, shaking his head at him.

Ten minutes later and Keith’s face is baby soft. Shiro has joined in the Monsters and Mana game, along with Allura, while Hunk is sitting beside him on the small loveseat, speaking to him in a hushed tone.

“I’m just so scared man, like what if we do actually die tomorrow? What if I never see my family again? Or tell Shay how I feel? Oh god, I should’ve told her-”

“We’re not gonna die,” Keith interrupts Hunk, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. “We’re gonna beat this, like everything else we’ve faced.”

“How can you be so sure?” Hunk asks in a pitiful voice, his frown deepening.

“Cause we’re a team. Nothing can stop us,” Keith says, leaving no room in his tone for Hunk to argue with.

They will beat this.

***

He feels like he can’t breathe.

Lance is in his sister’s arms, crying so hard his body is visibly shaking. Shiro is sitting with Coran on the floor, who collapsed upon hearing the news. Pidge and Hunk are standing off to the side, trying, but failing, to wipe away their tears.

He can’t breathe and he needs to get out of here.

He rushes out of the room and down the hallway, taking in quick, panicked breaths. 

(He’s reminded of being twelve and the principal calling him down to the office. When he gets there, there are several adults waiting for him, all wearing equally grim expressions).

He continues to walk through the hallways, various crew members jumping out of his way. He thinks he hears someone call his name but he keeps moving, because if he stops it’s all gonna hit him, _really hit him,_ that she isn’t coming back, that he’ll never hear her laugh or feel her strong hugs again - 

“Keith?”

He stops, registering the voice as James. He looks up, and it only takes him a moment to register that he’s standing outside his own room, with James standing behind him. He turns towards James, taking in his flushed cheeks and disheveled hair. 

How long had James been chasing after him?

“Hey,” James says after a moment of silence, taking a step towards him. “I just heard, I’m so sor-”

Keith chokes on a cry and launches himself into James’ arms.

(He’s reminded of being seventeen and feeling like his whole world has crashed down around him).

***

One moment, he’s breaking down in James’ arms in the hallway. The next, he’s sitting on his bed, with James on one side, Kosmo on the other. The tears have begun to subside, but he feels drained, empty.

“Sorry,” he croaks, rubbing at his eyes. He’s not even sure what he’s apologizing for. Getting tears and snot all over James’ jacket? Being a failure of a leader? Everything hurts.

“Keith,” James’ voice is soft, soothing. “You just lost one of your closest friends. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He feels a rush of tears welling up in his eyes. “I should’ve done more. There, there had to be something-”

“Keith,” James’ hand is on his back, rubbing up and down. “I didn’t know Allura as well as you, but from what I do know...she was smart. If she felt this was the only way to save everyone, then I trust that. I don’t like it,” his hand stills, “But I trust her judgement.”

Silence. And then, “I’m gonna miss her.”

“I know.”

“I’m tired.”

“You should rest,” James moves to get up, but he quickly grabs his sleeve, stilling the other. “Keith?”

“I…” why did he do that? James is right, he should rest. He’s so tired, physically and emotionally...so why can’t he let go?

“Do you want me to stay?”

He nods, clenching his jaw shut. _I don’t want to be alone..._

“Okay,” James responds, smiling softly at him, before he begins to take off his jacket. Keith tries to unbutton his, but his fingers are shaky and uncoordinated. “I got you,” James kneels and unbuttons his coat, helping Keith slide it off his shoulders. “Let’s get you tucked in, okay?”

“Where are you gonna sleep?”

“Uh, I figured the couch?”

“No,” James’ raises a brow at him. “...the couch sucks.”

It doesn’t suck, but James doesn’t argue, just nods and crawls into the bed beside Keith, prompting Kosmo to hop down onto the floor. It’s a tight fit, but not uncomfortable, as Keith rolls onto his side. He’s exhausted, ready to sleep, but something is still keeping him afloat...

The bed shifts as James curls up behind him, his arm resting across Keith’s waist. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Keith responds, just before he falls asleep.

***

Shiro gives everyone the next few days off, to rest from their extraneous battle and to mourn the loss of Allura.

James leaves early the next morning. His mom shows up soon after and hugs him so hard his back pops. 

He visits with Shiro in the evening. Curtis, who had already been there, says he’s gonna head to the mess hall and grab some food.

“How ya feeling?”

“Shitty. You?”

“Pretty much,” Shiro sighs, running a hand across his face. “Have you talked to Lance at all?”

“Not yet.”

“You should, soon. He needs us, more than ever. Coran too.”

He nods. “I’ll visit them tomorrow...it’s just…”

“Too much?”

“Yeah.”

Shiro squeezes his shoulder. “We’ll get through this, together.”

***

When he arrives back at his quarters, he’s surprised to see James there, leaning beside his door. “Hey,” he says, straightening up, “Wanted to see how you’re-”

Keith grabs him by the elbow and drags him inside.

***

He visits with the others the next day.

Pidge is tinkering away on a new robot, answering his questions in one-word answers. He can see the concern on her family’s faces.

Hunk cries in his arms for a solid hour. He only lets go as the sobs begin to quiet down, until Hunk is sniffling quietly into his jacket.

Coran wonders if Alfor hates him, for not protecting Allura. Keith reassures him, behind his tears, that he did his best. That they all did.

Lance is staring into the mirror, his fingers tracing over his new marks. “The mark of the chosen,” Keith finds himself saying, prompting Lance to turn and face him. “That’s what she called them, right?”

“Yeah,” Lance replies, his tone breathy and soft. “I think I know why she gave them to me.”

“Yeah?”

Lance nods. “I’m going to Altea, to help Coran and the others rebuild their home.”

Keith feels his heart stop. “Wait, what?”

“It’s what Allura would want,” he replies, smiling, his fingers touching the marks once more. “She gave her life to restore balance. I’m going to help keep that balance. Which means,” he grins, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes, “We need to throw a party.”

He can’t even with this guy. “Seriously?”

“Yeah!” Lance exclaims, coming over to Keith and grabbing his shoulders. “We beat the witch, Coran and I are moving, and,” he pauses, sniffling, “For Allura. Because she loved a good party and wouldn’t want everyone being all sad. So, can you dig it?”

Keith rolls his eyes, unable to hide his amused snort. “Yeah, I can dig it.”

***

James is waiting inside his room this time, kneeling on the floor beside Kosmo and rubbing the wolf’s belly.

The ache in his heart begins to feel lighter.

***

They hold the party in the mess hall, the only place on the ship that is big enough to accommodate all of its crew at once. It’s decorated simply, with pink streamers and a disco ball that Matt managed to make out of spare parts. It hangs in the center of the room, casting shimmery shadows along the walls. There’s food and drink along the counter and a few tables are placed around the room, for people to sit while they eat and mingle.

It’s nice, Keith thinks, smiling as he watches his team laugh at something Hunk says.

He’s going to miss this.

He always knew they’d eventually separate, after the war was won, to go back home or to pursue other adventures. It doesn’t make it any easier though. Of course, Lance has already reassured him that no matter how far apart they are, he’ll always be his favorite mullet (and to not worry, because he’s going to call Keith every day while he’s on Altea; Keith doesn’t doubt this).

It’s just never been easy for him, letting people go; to have things change. 

First, he lost his father and spent years pushing everyone away, out of fear and anger. Then, Shiro came around, the first person in years he felt he could finally rely on, only to lose him too. After that, he closed himself off from the world, physically and emotionally...until he found these guys.

Through them, he’s learned not only how to be a leader, but also a friend. He’s learned that it’s okay to open up to people, to trust that they’ll have his back as much as he has theirs’. He’s learned that it’s okay to be scared, but by closing himself off to the world, to live in a state of numbness, is no way to live at all. He’s learned how to love, and to accept that love in return.

He wouldn’t be the man he is today without these people.

He’s really, _really_ going to miss this.

“And then James was like,” Hunk lowers his voice, to mimic James’ deeper tone, _“All those tentacles, so nasty,”_ Like what?” he cracks up, causing another round of laughter, “This guy is so weird, but in the best way possible.”

“Man, ya sure know how to pick ‘em, Keith.”

He makes a sound of confusion, to which Lance happily clarifies, “Cause you and James are totally boyfriends now, right?”

“No, we’re not.”

“Ina told me he’s been sleeping in your room.”

“Whoa, wait-”

“Keith, oh my god!”

“It’s not like that!” Keith snaps, crossing his arms over his chest. At his tone, the trio quiet down, looking at him a little sheepishly. “He’s just…” but now that Keith is forced to dwell on it, he’s not really sure why James is still sleeping in his room. Why does he come back each night, ready to welcome Keith with open arms? “We’re just friends. Besides,” Keith glances at Shiro, sending him an apologetic look, “Curtis has been staying in Shiro’s room.”

Shiro sends him a dirty look, but accepts the barrage of questions now coming his way.

“Number one, have you found yourself a new lover?”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Who tops?”

“Jesus, Lance,” Shiro shakes his head, giving the other an incredulous look. Lance just beams in response. “Look, it’s...complicated.”

“Really?” Hunk asks, resting his cheek in his palm. “I mean, it’s obvious you like each other, so what’s complicated about that?”

Shiro is quiet for a moment, his brows pulled together as his smile begins to drop. Keith moves to tell the others to leave Shiro alone, when he speaks, “Curtis is a really sweet guy...and I’m,” he sighs, gesturing to himself. “Ya’know,” he doesn’t elaborate, but to them, it’s obvious what he means; _broken, scarred, damaged._

“That’s bullshit,” Pidge states, everyone nodding in agreement. “If you didn’t wanna be with him because you need to work through some things, that totally makes sense. But denying yourself something awesome, because you think you’re too damaged or don’t deserve it, is bullshit.”

“I agree with number five,” Coran pipes up, giving Shiro a soft look. “And I know Allura would too. You don’t have to rush into anything if you’re not ready, but to deny yourself happiness? What’s the good in that?”

“You should go for it,” Keith says, reaching to give Shiro’s shoulder a squeeze. “When you’re ready.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely,” Keith grins, and the tension in Shiro’s face softens. “You deserve it, man.”

“You do, too,” Shiro responds, grinning as well. There’s a teasing look in his eyes, like he knows something Keith doesn’t know. Before Keith can try and pick it apart, Shiro breaks eye contact and turns back towards the table, lifting his glass into the air. “Anyways, let’s get this party started. For Allura!”

“For Allura!” they echo, throwing back their drinks.

It doesn’t take long for Lance to start a new conversation, something light-hearted and funny. As he does, Keith can feel the worry in his mind quiet down and the tension in his body relax.

Maybe things are changing, maybe they won’t see each other as much, but they’re still a family.

Nothing can take that away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no jeith discord prompt this time, just feeling inspired. uwu
> 
> a bit of a filler piece as well, to set up keith's feelings and stuff. don't worry, the jeith will happen.


	4. attraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith begins to see James in a new light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un-beta'd. no discord prompt, just inspired by star trek feels lol. why are keith and james totally kirk and spock?
> 
> MY BABY ART’D THE SCENE AT THE END: https://twitter.com/cosmologier/status/1084233094020849665

“Well, this is it,” Lance says as he finishes packing his last bag. He sets it by the door, along with the other two, before taking a seat beside Keith. “How you doing, buddy?”

“Me?” Keith asks, deflecting. “You’re the one moving.”

Lance smiles softly at him, giving him a knowing look. Of course, he isn’t surprised that Lance can see through his walls. He’s his right hand man after all, his strategist, the one who always has his back.

“I’m gonna really fucking miss you,” Keith finally admits, his voice heavy with emotion.

“Awe, baby, you do love me,” Lance giggles, lightening the mood as he pulls Keith into a hug. Keith returns the hug with full force, feeling only a little satisfaction when Lance lets out a quiet _oof_ at the tight squeeze. “You know I’m gonna call you and the others as soon as we land, right? And pretty much every day?”

“I know,” Keith smiles at the reassurance, feeling the warmth of Lance’s love. “But it won’t be the same as seeing your stupid face everyday.”

Lance snorts, his hand tightening in Keith’s jacket. “I love you too, Mullet.”

A quiet knock interrupts the moment and they stand, Keith helping Lance with his luggage as they greet Coran on the other side of the door. “You ready, my boy?”

Lance nods, and the three of them make their way to the Lion’s hangar. By the time they arrive, the team is already gathered, along with several members of the Atlas crew. Keith watches as different people hug Lance and Coran, wishing them luck on their new adventure. 

Shiro tells him how proud he is of Lance and how far he’s come from that goofball kid. Pidge tries so hard not to cry that she ends up crying just as hard as Hunk, who quickly pulls Lance and Pidge into a bone-crushing hug. It’s only with promises of frequent calls that they let go, allowing Veronica to swoop in next. She says something to Lance in Spanish, which has Lance tearing up, choking on his words as he tells her he loves her. 

When it’s all said and done, Coran and Lance board the Red lion and take off, towing Blue along with them. He can feel Black’s presence in his mind, telling him that everything is going to be okay. He wonders how she knows this, when a hand on his shoulder interrupts his thoughts.

“Hey,” James says, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “Wanna go for a walk?”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Keith accepts the distraction with open arms, following after James. A moment later and Kosmo pops up beside him, giving his hand a lick.

***

In true Lance fashion, he requests a video chat just as Keith’s getting out of the shower, whistling appreciatively when he answers the call in nothing but a towel.

Some things never change, after all.

***

Although there’s definitely a quietness to the air, Keith appreciates that life on board the Atlas is anything but dull. There are still people who need their help; many are seeking food and shelter, while others are searching for their missing loved ones. There’s also the manner that, due to Allura’s sacrifice, several hundred planets are now back in existence, unoccupied and ready for old and new citizens to call it their home.

It’s definitely a lot of work.

He can see the stress in Shiro’s shoulders as he delegates tasks, while meeting with different planet’s dignitaries. Of course, just because they beat the witch, doesn’t mean that everyone is automatically going to start getting along or want to join the galactic coalition. 

Like the Galra, for example.

A group of people who had been living under a tyrannical rule for several thousands of years, now left with....nothing. It was chaos, to say the least. Too many factions were gunning for the new role of leader, _again_ , using violence and intimidation to try and stake their claim. His mom had already informed him that she, Kolivan, and the remaining Blades would be returning to Daibazaal, to try and stop the bloodshed and to prevent history from repeating itself so soon.

“Do you need my help?”

“We could always use more help, but I know you have obligations here as well,” his mom said, cupping his cheeks with a fond look. “I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

Now, Keith is pacing in his room, wondering what choice he should make. Should he stay on the Atlas and help in its relief missions, or should he go with his mother, to help restore balance and honor to the Galra name?

On one hand, politics and diplomacy are definitely not his thing; he’s always been a man of action. On the other hand, if things aren’t settled soon and the Galra don’t learn to change their ways, then they’ll end up right back where they started, undoing all of their work and dishonoring Allura’s sacrifice.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself, wringing a hand through his hair. 

He knows what he needs to do.

***

Maybe it’s because he’s left before that he assumed leaving once more wouldn’t be too hard. It’s not like they won’t be able to communicate, if Lance’s daily video chats aren’t proof of that. Plus, he told Shiro that if he needs anything, _anything_ at all, just call him and he’ll be there.

It still sucks though. 

“I doubt I’ll be gone for long,” Keith says as he tries to comfort Hunk, who is crying heavily in his arms. “And we’ll talk in the meantime, okay?”

“Okay,” Hunk whimpers into his neck, sniffling. A moment later and Pidge is pulling the big guy away, grumbling that he’s hogging all of the Keith hugs to himself, before diving into Keith’s embrace next.

“Give ‘em hell,” she says, grinning up at him.

“You know it,” he says, giving her one last squeeze before she steps back, standing beside Shiro and Hunk. From the corner of his eye, he can see his mom, Kolivan, and the girls boarding the Black lion. 

It’s almost time.

He turns to James next, who is staring at him with a mixed expression on his face. His smile indicates that he’s proud of him, while the softness in his eyes show that he’s gonna miss him. Without a word, Keith embraces James in a fierce hug, committing the sensation to his mind in case he doesn’t get to experience it for awhile; the feel of James’ arms wrapped tightly around his waist, always the perfect amount of pressure, and the minty smell of his skin, no doubt from the Garrison issued bars of soap.

Thankfully, none of his friends comment on the lengthy hug (although he swears he sees Shiro smirk at him). He waves as he boards Black, exchanging one last round of _goodbyes_ and _see ya’s_ before they’re off.

two months later

It’s the third time this week that Keith has left a meeting with different faction leaders feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. He is trying, so hard, to get them to see reason, that a dictatorship with one leader in charge is not the way to go; but it’s hard for the Galra to change their ways, especially when that way has been the norm for the last several thousands of years.

To say the least, Keith feels like breaking something.

He understands that the work they are doing needs to be done, but he hates it. He hates sitting around, listening to a bunch of asshats argue about who’s right and who’s wrong. He hates trying to be diplomatic when all he wants to do is shout at everyone to knock it off and stop being dicks. 

He just wants to help people, and he knows in the long run that helping the Galra reform their ways will help, it’s just...not enough, but he doesn’t know what else to do?

Shiro’s call the next morning comes as a saving grace.

“Hey buddy,” Shiro says, and Keith immediately feels himself relaxing. Although he talks to the others more frequently, it’s been almost a week since he last spoke with Shiro. He knows the man has been busy though, judging by the dark circles under his eyes. “So, remember how you said if I needed anything, to just-”

“Yes, oh my god, what is it?” Keith interrupts, desperate for any change of pace. “Let me know how I can help and I’ll clear it with Kolivan.”

Shiro laughs at him, “Well, I actually spoke to Kolivan already. He told me I was more than welcomed to borrow a few Blades members to help assist on some of our relief and reconnaissance missions we have going on,” he pauses, raising a brow, “And based on your reaction, I’m assuming you want in?”

“Absolutely,” Keith says, maybe a little too enthusiastically. “I mean, it’d be a great opportunity to show everyone that the Galra can change their ways and be a force of good in this world,” _and maybe I’m going just a little insane, trying to be polite all the time,_ he thinks to himself, waiting for Shiro’s response.

“I couldn’t agree more,” Shiro says, sounding amused as he grins at Keith. “Go ahead and pick which Blades will accompany you and I’ll have Curtis send you our coordinates. See you soon, Keith.”

“See ya, Shiro,” the call ends and Keith lets out an excited whoop, rushing out of his and his mom’s quarters and into the main living area.

It doesn’t take him long to figure out who he wants to take - Acxa, Zethrid, and Ezor, before they’re boarding the Black Lion and flying towards the coordinates Curtis sent. It should only take them a half hour or so, given that the Atlas is currently stationed in the same galaxy as Daibazaal. 

“So, do you know what our missions will be?” Ezor asks from where she’s sitting on the floor, nestled in Zethrid’s arms.

“It seems the Atlas is involved in a variety of different missions, based on my last phone call with Veronica,” Acxa speaks up, a small blush coloring her cheeks. “She and Nadia are working with the Olkari on stopping an alien trafficking ring, while Ryan and Hunk are working on a means to quickly create a mass supply of food.”

“Wooow,” Ezor sighs, smiling. “We’re gonna be heroes!”

Zethrid chuckles, giving Ezor a squeeze, “You know it, baby!”

Keith can’t help but smile at them as he continues to fly. Soon enough, they are docking on the Atlas, with Shiro and Romelle ready to greet them as they step down from the Black lion. “Hello, my friends!” Romelle calls out and captures them all in a hug, with Acxa grumbling in the middle. “It is so wonderful you will be assisting us. Please, ladies, follow me for your assignments,” Romelle says as she releases them, gesturing for the girls to follow her.

That leaves Keith with Shiro, wondering what his mission will be.

“So,” Shiro begins, leading Keith in the opposite direction and towards the pods. “We’re going to have the girls help on some longer term missions, but for you, we were thinking of an assist as needed basis?” Keith frowns at that, halting in his steps, “I know, we’d love for you to help on some of our bigger cases, and while Kolivan was happy to let us borrow you, he also made it clear that you are needed on Daibazaal as well.”

“Why, I’m not very good at diplomacy?” Keith grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’re not...terrible?” Shiro laughs, causing Keith to chuckle as well. “Sure, you can be a bit hot-headed when people are being especially dumb, but you’re smart as hell, Keith. And an honorable leader, which means you’re definitely a valuable asset in leading the Galra reform.”

“...shut up,” Keith mutters, leaning over and knocking his shoulder against Shiro’s. “So, what am I helping on, then?”

“A reconnaissance mission, of sorts,” Shiro says as he continues walking, Keith falling into step beside him. “Using Atlas’ database, Hunk and Ryan have discovered a tree that can grow quickly and produce mass amounts of an acorn like food, that is supposed to be high in nutrients. The mission is to collect several of these seeds on,” he pauses, pulling out his datapad and handing it to Keith. “Nibiru. It’s a Class-M planet, so the air is breathable.”

“Cool,” Keith says, swiping through the data. “It says here that there is life on this planet, but you’re not sure what kind?”

“Yeah, we tried hailing them, but no response. Pidge and Matt sent down drones next, but we didn’t see any evidence of aliens or animals. So,” he shrugs, “That’s kinda where you come in.”

“And we’re taking a pod, instead of Black?”

“Just in case. It’s possible we could be dealing with a primitive species here, which means that any exposure to advanced technology could vastly alter their reality...according to Slav, at least," he adds with a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

Keith snickers. "So, who am I going with-”

The door to the pod opens, interrupting Keith’s question; however, a second later and his question is being answered, as he stares into a familiar set of gray eyes.

“Hey,” James grin, dressed in a green shirt and tan pants. He’s holding an additional pair of clothes in his arms, which Keith assumes is for him. “Hop on board and we’ll get out of here.”

Keith glances at Shiro, who gives him an encouraging smile in return. 

Well, it’s not _exactly_ what he had imagined when Shiro called and requested his assistance. If Hunk and Ryan’s research is correct though, and this food can help others from starvation, then Keith is more than happy to assist.

“Let’s do this.”

A change of clothes and one wormhole later, they’re off, heading towards Nibiru.

***

It’s a beautiful planet, with a lush forest and a beautiful ocean. Keith can’t help but think that Lance would totally be jealous and snaps a quick picture using Shiro’s datapad, before pulling up the map that James was telling him about on their way into the atmosphere. Pidge and Matt’s work is, as always, very impressive, using drones to make a digital map of the path they need to take.

It’s about an hour walk to get to the trees. Keith, who’s been living on a relatively cold planet for a couple of months now, is dying only a little bit from the heat that bears down on him from this galaxy’s sun. He fans his face and then the back of his neck, feeling only mildly appeased. He glances over at James, who appears flushed, but doesn’t seem to be sweating as much as him.

It’s probably cause of his short hair.

Maybe he should cut his hair?

Before he can delve into that topic any further, they reach their destination and begin collecting the seeds off the forest’s floor. As they work, they talk quietly, catching up on anything that’s occurred since their last video chat.

To be honest, Keith had worried that the separation might damage the progress they’ve made in becoming friends. In reality though, it seems to have only strengthened it. James has finally begun to open up about his guilt, for not trying harder to befriend Keith when it was obvious that Keith was suffering in a lot of ways. In return, Keith opens up about his anxieties - not being a good enough friend, being too closed off, not making his father proud, being abandoned by the people he loves...it’s been nice, being able to share these feelings with another person. 

Of course, it’s not like he couldn’t share this with the others. Hell, they probably already know, given the mental bond they shared as paladins. He’s just not used to it, with them. They come to him when they need help and Keith...just handles his shit on his own. Or maybe by talking to Shiro, but Shiro already knows all of this anyways.

He doesn’t get it in the same context that James does, though. Sure, Shiro knows that Keith has been hurt, that he tends to close himself off so that he can avoid feeling that pain again, but James was there. He saw the rage, the marks, the meltdowns. He’s witnessed Keith at his worst, several times, even bore his own bruises because of it. 

It’s just easier with him, for some reason. He hasn’t spent too much time trying to figure out why.

_snap_

Both he and James look up, turning in the direction of the snap. They see what appears to be a child, its skin chalky white and bumpy, with large black eyes. The child stares back before running off, its feet echoing behind them. 

“We should go,” James says and Keith jumps to his feet, the two of them taking off and running back towards the pod. The heavy weight of their backpacks, now filled with the seeds, slows down their pace.

Which is no good, when a group of angry aliens come chasing after them.

“Shit!” Keith curses as an arrow whooshes past him, hitting a tree. “Be careful, they’ve got arrows.”

“Got it!” James shouts back, but then he’s gasping, sharply, a small noise of pain slipping through. Keith glances over and feels his stomach drop at the arrow that has now pierced James’ shoulder. 

“Damnit, I said be careful!”

“Yes, because I was trying to get shot, obviously!”

“Just,” Keith looks around, his mind whirling, wondering what to do. _C'mon, think, think..._

“Turn left!”

“What?”

“Just trust me!” he yells, making a hard left, James following close behind. They begin to climb in elevation, which thankfully works against the arrows, sending them crashing down further than what their chasers probably expected. They’re still on the run though, but Keith can see their escape through the clearing ahead.

“Are you serious!?”

“I saw it when we were flying in! If we jump right, we should be okay!”

“But-”

He reaches over and grabs James’ hand, holding tight. “I’m sorry!” he shouts, because he knows very well that James is terrified of the ocean, but they don’t have a choice. This is the quickest and more surefire way to get the aliens off their backs, while preventing any further injuries (to themselves or to them). They’ll jump and then swim over to the rocks along the cliff’s wall. From there, James can signal the Atlas, because there’s no way they’d be able to make the long swim to shore to get the pod, especially with James’ injured shoulder.

“Ready?”

“No!”

“Too bad!” and then they’re soaring through the air, James screaming the whole way down, until all he can hear is the silent thrum of the water as it rushes over him.

***

His plan works, of course.

James is looking a little worse for wear, but Keith can’t tell if its from the injury or because he just jumped off a fifty foot cliff and into the ocean. 

“I hate you so much,” James shivers, using his hand to keep pressure on his shoulder, while Pidge flies them back in the green lion, using its cloaking device to avoid terrifying the aliens. She seems only mildly amused.

“Awe, shucks,” Keith cooes, enjoying the way James’ brows furrow in contempt.

Soon enough, they’re back on Atlas, where the medical team is waiting for James and Hunk is waiting for him. He hands off the two bags of seeds and makes his way down to the medbay, just as they’re prepping James to remove the shattered remains of the arrow.

It doesn’t take long, thankfully, and the doctor reassures him that the arrow didn’t hit anything vital, nor should there be any permanent injury to the area. Of course, he should rest it for a few days, but should be good to go after that (thank goodness for Altean healing sprays and medicine).

Keith helps James back to his shared quarters with Nadia, who, upon seeing them, says she’s gonna bunk with Ryan and Ina and leaves the room. 

“Okay, let’s get you into bed,” Keith says, pushing Nadia's smirk from his mind and helping James remove the hospital gown they had put on him, so that he wouldn’t have to walk back to his room shirtless. His eyes immediately catch sight of the bandage around his shoulder, but then, as more of the gown is removed, he can’t help but notice...well…

Has James always been this fit?

Of course, he’s noticed how much James has changed since they were seventeen. He went from being a lanky, baby-faced boy, to a tall, sharp, handsome man. Keith wasn’t an idiot, he could admit that, but he’s never seen James shirtless, not like this. Maybe for a brief second in the Atlas locker room after their old sparring sessions, but he never noticed how broad James' chest is or the obvious definition in his arms, and those shoulders...

“Hello, earth to Keith?” James' asks, slurring on his words. The pain meds must've begun to kick in.

“Sorry,” Keith clears his throat, hoping his flushed cheeks and racing heart aren’t too obvious. He pushes aside those thoughts for now (or for forever) and helps James change out of his wet pants and into dry ones (don’t look at his legs, don’t look at his-). Finally, he gets James into bed, pulling the blanket up to his chin and securely tucking him in.

“Alright, all tucked in,” Keith sighs, grateful that that’s over with. “You okay?”

James hums, which Keith is gonna assume means _yup, all good!_ He moves to get up, but James’ voice stops him, quieting saying, “Thanks, Keith.”

“Of course,” Keith replies, leaning forward and brushing James’ bangs away from his face. They’re still a little damp, but the warm air circulating in the room should take care of that. “You took care of me, when I needed it. It’s what friends do, right?”

“Yeah,” James laughs, a soft, breathless sound. “I like taking care of you.”

Keith pauses, his stand stilling by James’ face. “Really?”

“Yeah,” James’ eyes are beginning to close, sleep pulling him under. “You take care of everyone, so I’ll take care of you.” The last few words are mumbled, but Keith can hear them clearly. Before he can respond, James is fast asleep, any remaining tension easing from his body.

Unlike Keith, who feels like the warmth in his face has begun to spread throughout his body, while his stomach drops to his feet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ten points to anyone who can name the star trek references.


	5. realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a talk with Shiro helps Keith figure things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un-beta'd, no prompt. picks up where chapter 4 left off lolol.

A shrill ring interrupts the silence and Keith quickly grabs his communicator, flinging it open. It’s Lance. “Hey man, now’s not-”

“Are you okay?” Lance speaks over him, looking visibly concerned. “Pidge messaged me and said James had been shot and you two jumped off a cliff?”

Keith shushes him, hurrying away James’ bunk and towards the small desk on the other side of the room. He takes a seat, waiting for any sign that James might have woken up, before answering Lance’s questions. “I’m fine, so is James. He’s resting right now.”

“Oh?” Lance raises a brow, smirking. 

“It’s not like that,” Keith says, probably for the hundredth time, but tonight, it doesn’t seem to hold its usual conviction. The words sound fake, even to himself.

Of course, Lance picks right up on that. “Whoa, did something happen?”

Keith hesitates, chewing absentmindedly on a piece of skin from his lip. He’s never really discussed his romantic or sexual life with his friends (not that he has one, of course). It’s awkward to admit what just happened, but maybe talking it out will help; and it’s not like he can talk to James about this, or Shiro, cause that’d be even weirder on a whole different level.

“Have you…” Keith clears his throat, restarting, “Objectively speaking, what do you think of James, like...looks-wise?”

“I don’t know, he’s pretty cute,” Lance shrugs, looking nonplussed. “What do you think? Objectively speaking, of course,” he adds, giving Keith a reassuring smile.

“He’s...kinda really hot,” Keith exhales, finally letting out the tension he’d been holding in. “Oh my god, Lance, he’s really hot.”

“Dude, those shoulders though?”

Keith groans, hanging his head. “I can’t think like this. He’s just a friend.”

“Keith, buddy, it’s okay-”

“No!” Keith replies, feeling his chest tighten as he takes in a stuttered breath. “James and I are just friends, okay?”

“Hey,” Lance’s tone softens, as he gives Keith a sympathetic look. “It’s okay. Don’t worry, alright? So, you noticed James is hot, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”

He feels himself calming down, listening to Lance’s soothing voice. “It doesn’t?”

“Nah, I mean, you think I’m totally cute, right?” Lance asks, batting his eyelashes at him. Keith laughs in response, muttering an amused, _‘sure’._ “But it’s not like you wanna woo me or anything. It’s probably nothing. Maybe you’re just sleep deprived or horny.”

A voice in his head tells him he’s wrong, that this might definitely be something, but he shoves it aside. “Yeah, something like that,” he chuckles tiredly, suddenly feeling very drained from today’s action and this conversation. “I’m gonna get some sleep, I’ll talk to you later.”

They end the call and Keith stands up, stretching his arms over his head. The wet clothes are still clinging to his body, so, with one final check to make sure James is sleeping well, he leaves the room and heads towards the hangar, needing to grab his Blades suit from inside the rescued the pod.

He thinks he’s just gonna sleep inside Black tonight.

***

Eight months after Allura’s sacrifice, Lance calls and says he’s going to be heading back to Earth for awhile. Altea has made a lot of progress, bringing in different refugees and assisting Atlas in manufacturing medicine that can be distributed to planets without resources, and Lance feels like it’s a good time to go home and spend some time with his family. He’s been missing them a lot lately, and thinks Allura wouldn’t mind if he took a break from saving the world. “Of course she wouldn’t mind,” Keith says, giving Lance that reassurance he is subconsciously asking for. “Allura valued family as much as she valued her work. She’d want you to be happy.”

Not long after, Pidge announces that she and her family will be going back as well. They’re going to assist in advancing Earth’s technology, particularly the Garrison’s teleduv. N-7 will be going with them as well, to help the refugees on Earth and to be closer to Matt.

Keith figures that Hunk will be leaving next, but is pleasantly surprised when Hunk tells him he’s going to be staying on the Atlas. He wants to continue his work with Ryan on finding different food sources that can be easily distributed to planets in need. “Don’t get me wrong, I miss my family so much, but I feel like this is where I need to be, ya’know?”

Shiro, as well, has expressed an interest in eventually going back to Earth, but is happy to serve and assist in the meantime. It’s a burden he didn’t ask for, but takes on nonetheless, to help bring Allura’s dream of universal peace to life. He has a great team as well, who help shoulder the massive responsibility he is tasked with; and he has Curtis, of course, who takes care of Shiro behind the scenes, helping him move on from his past and head towards a brighter future.

Keith is happy all of his friends are finding their place in the universe, but wonders when he’ll find his.

At the time, it made sense to follow his mom and Kolivan back to Daibazaal. It was chaotic in the beginning, with all of the Galra returning to their home planet, different factions gunning for the role of leadership and control. Nowadays, things have begun to settle down. There are enough Galra who believe that a reform is needed and who want to prevent another dictatorship from taking over; and for some reason, the people have begun to express that Keith should be their new leader.

He doesn’t want that, though. He knows he’s an honorable man and a good leader, his friends and family have told him so, but the idea of leading an entire nation of people? It’s not what he wants.

He wants to help people, but not as a politician or diplomat. He wants to be like his father, on the ground, assisting the people who need it the most. He wants to be a hero.

But how? Does he quit the Blades and work exclusively for the galactic coalition? Does he quit both and go back to Earth, to help in the relief missions there? Does he just say fuck it to all of the above and go to a different galaxy and start something completely new? What about his family though? His friends? It’s hard enough, only seeing them every few weeks, or with Pidge and Lance, only seeing them on a small screen through his communicator. Could he really handle the possibility of seeing them any less?

He doesn’t think he can. 

He’s spent so much of his life feeling isolated, that the idea of going back to that isolation, even willingly, leaves a sour taste in his mouth. How could he leave his mom, after so many years of wishing for her presence, or Coran, who’s been nothing but supportive of him since the very beginning? His closest friends, who he fought and bled with, who became the family he’d been desperately searching for?

What about James?

On one hand, if he left, he wouldn’t have to deal with his attraction to James anymore. No more getting distracted by that beautiful smile, those expressive gray eyes, or his ridiculously broad shoulders that make Keith feel a little too weak in the knees.

But if he left, that’d also mean no more hugs, with the pressure just right. No more late night conversations and accidentally falling asleep to the sound of James’ voice, or James using his innate ability to sense what Keith needs in any given situation, whether it’s a long walk or kicking some ass, filling him with so much gratitude that it feels like he might spill over.

“What am I supposed to do?” Keith asks into the empty space of the Black lion, her cargo filled with dozens of refugees that he’s transporting to Altea. “I feel so lost…”

He feels a gentle nudge against his brain, a visual of Shiro coming to mind. _You were lost once, but he helped you find your way,_ he thinks to himself, his thoughts blending with Black’s. _He’ll help you again._

Keith nods to himself as Altea approaches in the distance, where he knows Atlas is currently docked for a weekend of shore leave.

***

The sun is just beginning to set as Keith lands on Altea and begins to assist the refugees out of the Black Lion. It doesn’t take long for Coran and Tavo to come running over, greeting everyone and ushering them towards their temporary housing. “We’ve got it from here, my boy,” Coran says as Keith moves to follow them, giving him a gentle smile. “You should go take a rest, you look exhausted. We prepared your usual room for you.”

Keith chuckles, well aware of the bags under his eyes and the tension he’s been carrying. “Yeah, I will soon. Thanks, Coran.”

“No problem, my boy.” Coran says with a wink, before catching up with the group. Keith, instead of heading towards the palace, makes his way towards the field of Lance’s Juniberry flowers, fishing his communicator out of his pocket. Once he finds a nice spot to sit, on a bench overlooking the park, he sends a message to Shiro and waits.

It takes about twenty minutes for Shiro to join him, his hair damp and an easy-going grin on his face. “Sorry I’m late,” he says as he takes a seat, the cold metal of his arm brushing against Keith’s. “I’ve been teaching Curtis how to spar and didn’t hear my communicator going off.”

“It’s fine,” Keith waves him off. “How are things going with Curtis?” 

“Good,” Shiro replies, nodding his head. “Really good. We went to the space mall a few weeks ago and he got me an Atlas doll,” he blushes, scratching at his neck. “And it’s been getting easier, to talk to him about things.” 

Keith glances at Shiro, unable to stifle his own grin. “That’s awesome, man. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Shiro says, leaning back against the bench. “Enough trying to distract me though,” he gives Keith a pointed look, always a step ahead. “You said you needed to talk. So,” he gestures towards Keith, giving him the floor to speak.

Keith crosses his arms over his chest, looking away from Shiro’s knowing gaze and. He feels like a kid again, struggling to get the words out and instead just wanting to bolt; it’s such an ingrained feeling that it takes everything he has to remain on that bench and say, “I don’t know what to do.”

“About what?”

_My future, how to keep you all in my life, this thing I’m feeling for James…_

Keith shrugs. “Everything.”

“Well,” Shiro’s arm moves to rest across his shoulders, pulling him in a little closer. “Everything, huh? Sounds pretty heavy.”

He lets out an involuntary snort, shaking his head. “God,” he chuckles, the sun fading behind the trees now, casting soft glows over the Juniberry flowers. It makes him think of Lance and the fact that it’s been almost a week since they last spoke. The thought quickly sobers him and he’s frowning at the ground. “I miss Lance,” he starts, drawing his shoulders forward. “And Pidge...I miss not talking to you guys, everyday.”

“I miss it too,” Shiro says, rubbing his shoulder. “But, no matter how far apart we are, wherever the universe takes us, we’re still a family. Nothing can change that,” his hand stills and he leans forward, prompting Keith to meet his eye. “Is that what you’ve been worrying about?”

“It’s a part of it,” Keith admits, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall down to his sides with a sigh. “I don’t know what I want to do next, with my life. I know I don’t wanna be the new Galra leader and I don’t really wanna work for the Garrison either. I’m scared that when I find the thing I want to do, I’ll somehow lose you guys in the process.”

“You’ll never lose us,” Shiro reassures him, his voice a soothing force over Keith’s nerves. “Did you and I stop being friends when I went on the Kerberos mission?” Keith shakes his head. “Then we’re certainly not gonna stop now, and I know the others feel the same way as well.”

It feels good to hear that, but there’s one last concern poking at his mind. “Do you…” he clears his throat, “Do you think James feels that way, too?”

Shiro begins to look at him with a mixture of amusement and reassurance, softly giggling under his breath. “Seriously?” he asks, but there’s no judgement in his tone. “Keith, you see James about, what? Once, twice a month?” Keith moves to answer, but Shiro keeps going. “And you guys talk several times a week. In any of that time, did you feel like James cared any less about you, that he’s not interested in being your friend anymore?”

Keith is silent for a moment, before muttering, “No,” because it’s true. Whenever they see each other or get a chance to talk, it’s like no time has passed between them at all. They’re able to fall right back into place, laughing over James’ misadventures or the idiots Keith has to deal with these days; it’s not even hard to talk about serious things, for Keith to share his worries or for James to admit he actually misses Earth, despite all of his talk about how his life is like an episode of Star Trek now and how cool that is. It’s a bond that he’s only experienced a few other times in his life, with the people who mean the world to him…

“Keith?” Shiro calls out to him, but it sounds muffled, like he’s too lost in his thoughts to really hear him.

“When did James Griffin become so important to me?” he asks, mostly to himself, shaking his head in confusion. “It feels like one day we were just friends and then all of the sudden, he means so much more…” now that he’s started, it feels like he can’t stop, as he continues to spill out all of the feelings he’d been shoving aside. “When we’re together, I can’t stop thinking about how funny or stupid or pretty he is, and we’re apart, I just...I miss him...why?”

“You know why, Keith,” Shiro says, giving his shoulder another squeeze. “Stop running from this and be honest with yourself.”

Running away, avoiding his feelings...it’s so instinctual, even now, to protect himself from pain, to jump ship before it has a chance to sink. That’s not who he is anymore, though, nor is it how he wants things to be. He’s learned, through his friends and family, to open his heart and let love in, even though it can be scary and painful. That love is worth the risk.

“I love him,” he finally says, feeling his shoulders sag as he releases the breath he’d been holding. “I love James Griffin.”

“Yeah, you do,” Shiro’s hand moves from his shoulder to his hair, ruffling it. It’s dark outside, the sun long gone and the stars twinkling overhead. “How do you feel?”

“Like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders,” he pauses, then adds, “Also like I’m going to throw up.”

“C’mon,” Shiro stands up first and then turns to Keith, offering him his hand. Keith takes it, as always, letting Shiro pull him up. “Let’s get some food and relax, okay?”

An evening with his best friend, just chilling out? “Yes please,” he smiles gratefully as Shiro drags him along, okay with pushing James out of his mind for the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been kinda losing my mojo for this cause of work, but I'm determined to finish this thing. Only one more part~


	6. love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith finally shares his feelings with James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, done.
> 
> originally, this was supposed to be just kinda cute one-shots of them falling in love...but then I felt myself drawn to actually attempting to storytell lol. Thank you everyone for all the nice love and encouragement uwu.
> 
> alsoooo since my original idea was just weird one shots, I still have those one-shots lol. they didn't fit in with this narrative, but I still wanna share them, so whenever the jeith discord sends out the weekly prompt or if I get them in my cc, I'll post them in the series page. some will be related to this story, others won't, but anyways, thank you again for the love!

He ends up spending the night in Shiro’s room, sleeping on the couch while Shiro and Curtis take the bed. Curtis had offered to bunk somewhere else for the night, but Keith insisted he should stay. As a teen, he spent many nights crashing at Shiro and Adam’s place, so he’s no stranger to taking the couch.

Plus, it gave him the chance to get to know Curtis a little better, especially now that he and Shiro are becoming more serious. They spent a couple hours just hanging out and chatting, while an Altean soap opera played in the background. During that time, Keith could begin to see why Shiro likes Curtis so much. He isn’t just an intelligent man who’s good at his job, but he’s also really sweet, funny, and super chill. There were several times he made Shiro laugh so hard he nearly shot water out of his nose, and even more times he made Shiro look at him with so much love and adoration in his gaze, it was almost kinda gross.

Needless to say, Keith is happy for Shiro. It’s hard to believe that a year or so ago, the sight of them together only brought him pain, but now? He’s so happy for his best friend, who’s been through so much and has lost so much. He deserves the absolute best and for a chance to finally live his life, without being plagued by muscle pains, nightmares, or guilt.

In the morning, he quietly sneaks out, not wanting to disturb Shiro’s peaceful rest.

Hunk catches him on his way out and gives him a curious look. “We stayed up watching that Altean soap opera,” Keith says, to which Hunk responds with a quiet _aaah_ before breaking out into a loud yawn.

“Ah, sorry man, was up late with Shay,” now it’s Keith’s turn to stare at Hunk, who immediately flushes under the intense gaze. “Whoa, not like that! I’ve uh, I’ve actually been teaching her about Samoan customs.”

“Hey man, that’s awesome,” Keith says, giving Hunk a pat on the back. “It’s cool that you wanna share your culture with her.”

“Ah, well,” Hunk rubs sheepishly at the back of his neck, smiling softly, “She’s important to me, so I figured it just made sense, ya’know? Anyways,” he pauses at they reach a fork in the hallway, gesturing to the left with his thumb. “I was about to grab some breakfast, wanna join me?”

“Totally,” he says, following Hunk down the hallway and into the dining room. It’s fairly empty right now, except for a few citizens and Atlas crew members. He spots Slav, muttering angrily to himself, and Veronica and Acxa, who are both sporting a few bruises from their latest mission. He gives them both a wave, Veronica responding cheerfully, while Acxa gives him a small smile.

“Here you go,” Hunk hands him a bowl of a porridge like substance and they take a seat, digging in. While they eat, Hunk tells him about the progress he and Ryan have been making with their research and about the four planets which are housing the seeds he and James collected awhile ago. “They’re already beginning to bloom and in just a few months, we’ll be able to distribute that food to so many people!”

“That’s really awesome!”

“Yeah yeah,” Hunk waves him off, always shy about accepting too much praise. “Anyways, I was talking to Pidge the other day and…”

Keith sits back and listens as Hunk speaks, slowly finishing his breakfast. It’s nice, just hanging out with a friend, sharing a meal and not worrying about the startling realization he made last night.

Speaking of…

“I gotta go,” Keith says as more people begin filing in, the sun now fully risen and shining through the curtains. Hunk flashes him a peace sign, his mouth full of porridge, and Keith quickly makes his retreat.

It’s not that he’s avoiding James, he just...needs more time, to process his feelings and figure out what he wants to do next. Being around James and his stupid shoulders will just complicate things.

So, he spends the morning not _not_ avoiding James. He goes for a quick run, Ryan and Nadia joining him about halfway through and telling him about the latest episode of Bii Boh Bii (apparently shit has gotten even more real on that show, according to Nadia). He phones his mom and tells her he’ll be back that evening, ignoring her when she says he doesn't have to rush back if he needs more time. He even ends up back in Shiro’s room at some point, but of course Shiro senses what he’s doing and promptly kicks him out, much to his displeasure.

After a little mindless wandering, he finds himself down by the river, where the Juniberry fields are vast and ever growing. It’s a warm day, so he rolls up his pant legs and sticks his feet into the water, sighing happily at the cooling sensation.

Here, he can let his mind wander and try and figure out his next steps.

He never expected himself to fall in love again, much less with James Griffin. 

It was obvious to him, even at a young age, that he didn’t do crushes or anything like that. As he got older, it was also obvious that he wasn’t into hooking up or mindless dating, the way some of his peers were. Maybe it’s because of his past and his trust issues, or maybe it’s a sexuality thing, or both, but it was only after letting Shiro into his life and forming that bond, that he began to fall for him. Of course, he never let himself fall too far, mindful of Shiro’s relationship with Adam. Even though a small part of him wanted to take Shiro away from the other, he knew it was pointless. He was too young and far too damaged for someone like Shiro.

When Shiro left for Kerberos, he thought maybe now was the time to get over those feelings. Even though he and Adam broke up, Keith learned the truth about Shiro’s illness and knew there would be no future for them. His best friend was going to die, possibly while in space, and that’d be the end of their story. He needed to move on, for his own sake.

And yet, when he received word that there had been a pilot error and Shiro was announced dead, he couldn’t accept it. He became obsessed with finding the truth, which ended up costing him his place at the Garrison and forcing him to move into a shack in the middle of the desert. 

He didn’t care though, he couldn’t give up on Shiro.

When Shiro finally returned, Keith tried not to be too hopeful. Sure, he was over 18 now, but it was obvious that Shiro had been through some pretty horrible things. There’s no way he’d be ready to start anything new; and definitely not while trying to keep a pack of teenagers alive in space.

At first, Keith would do little things to try and get Shiro to notice him. After awhile though, he began doing things just to make Shiro smile, to ease his nightmares, to remind him that he is a good man, no matter what he was forced to do. 

His love for Shiro became less about himself and what he wanted and more about what Shiro deserved; and he deserved to be saved, as many times as it takes. He deserved the chance to live and find his happiness, even if it that happiness wasn’t with Keith; and Keith accepted that. As long as Shiro was happy and safe, he accepted the fact that the older man would never love him back. He made his peace with that and with whatever lonely future he’d end up having.

Something changed, though, the day James asked if they could give being friends one more shot. He began to form a new bond, without even realizing it, chalking it up to the fact that he just really wanted to make this friendship work. He fell for James and his weird sense of humor, his quirky attitude and inability to ever censor himself. He fell for his hugs, his comforting words when he felt like he was drowning and needed someone to pick him back up. He fell for his soft smiles and smug grins, his soulful grey eyes, and god...those shoulders…

Never, in a million years, would he have ever expected himself to fall for James Griffin. And yet here he is, contemplating what to do about these feelings he has. Should he tell him, even at the risk of getting his heart broken _again?_ Should he keep it to himself, in order to preserve their friendship?

He grabs his socks and shoes and stands up, giving the field one last look before turning around and making his way back towards the city. The sun is hanging directly overhead and he needs to leave soon, if he’s going to get back to Daibazaal before dark.

His plans are interrupted though, when he sees a familiar figure sitting on top of Black’s massive paw. “What are you doing?” he asks James, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Remember when you said that the Black Lion doesn’t really communicate to you in words, but in feelings?” James states, more than asks, before continuing, “I think that just happened to me.”

“What?”

He hops down off of Black’s paw and approaches Keith, his hands slipping into his pockets. “I was training with Ina and then all of the sudden, I got this image of the Black Lion in my head and felt like I had to come here,” he glances up at the impressive beast, then back at Keith, his brows pulled together. “Do you know why she called me here?”

 _’Because she’s a meddling beast,’_ he thinks to himself, as he feels Black encouraging him to talk to James. “Yeah,” he finally answers with a sigh, giving her one last glare. “But I need to get going,” he winches, feeling a spike of anger in his mind. “But the Atlas isn’t leaving until tomorrow night, right?”

James nods.

“Then come with me to Daibazaal and I’ll tell you everything.”

James seems to hesitate, only for a second, before following Keith onto the Black Lion. While Keith prepares to launch, James sends a message to Shiro, telling him where he’ll be and when he’ll be back.

His communicator beeps a moment later and James lets out a quiet _huh._

“What?” Keith asks, curious as to what Shiro might have said. 

“Captain Shirogane says don’t worry about it and have fun?”

Keith closes his eyes, feeling Black’s amusement in his mind.

***

The ride to Daibazaal is only moderately awkward, thanks to James filling the silence by telling Keith who he believes Bii Boh Boh Bii should end up with on Bii Boh Bii, and about his latest misadventures on the Atlas. Even though they talk several times a week, so much has happened since their last conversation that by the time James is finished, they’re nearly approaching their destination. 

When they land, it’s just after dusk, the last remnants of the sun slowly disappearing beyond the horizon’s edge. The ground is a ruddy, reddish color, with grey rocks covering the surface in various sizes and textures. As they exit the Black Lion, Keith gestures for James to follow him and they begin walking away from the city and into the vast, empty land. After several minutes, he finds a large, flat rock for them to sit on, one that overlooks the desert and the purpleish sky.

“So, this is Daibazaal?” James speaks up, breaking the moment of silence that had fallen over them. He looks around, eyes wide with fascination. “It kinda reminds me of Vulcan, ya’know, from -”

“Star Trek,” they say in unison, causing James to flush sheepishly. He smirks, giving James’ shoulder a playful bump with his own. “You’re such a nerd.”

“And you’re such an emo,” James counters, chuckling as he leans back onto his hands. His shoulder and thigh are pressed against Keith’s, the familiar weight both comfortable and distracting. “Sooooo,” he starts, pursing his lips together as he draws out the sound, “You ready to talk?”

Keith feels his heartbeat quicken and his nerves settling back in. Is he ready to talk? He’s only come to accept his feelings in the last day, although he realizes now that he’s loved James for a lot longer than that. He had pushed his feelings away for a long time, unwilling to accept what they might mean and the possible risk that might come with them…

He looks away from James’ patient gaze and towards the sky, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess,” he mutters, his hands shaking in his lap. “So,” he coughs, clearing his throat. “Um, I,” he wrinkles his nose, shaking his head. “God damn it,” he curses, dropping his head into his hands. “Why is this so hard?”

“Dunno,” James responds with a shrug. “You’re probably overthinking it. Just say the first thing that comes to mind?”

The first thing that comes to mind? He looks up and towards James, who is looking back at him with a mixture of patience and amusement. If it was anyone else, he’d probably be a little peeved, but all he can think about is how beautiful James looks in the afterglow of the setting sun, the sharp angles of his face softened and his grey eyes twinkling. “You’re pretty,” he says, and without giving himself the chance to freak out, continues. “Like, really pretty. And you’re funny, and cute, and I think I’m gonna puke.”

“Don’t do that,” James shifts his position, so that he’s directly facing Keith. “It’d be pretty gross.”

Keith laughs, despite the fact that he’s pretty sure his heart is about to beat out of his chest. “You’re so weird.”

“Yeah, but I’m still cute, huh?” James says with a wink, only a slight hint of teasing in his tone.

Keith nods, fiddling with the edges of his gloves and pinching the worn leather between his fingers. “...I really like you, James.”

“I like you too, Keith.”

“No, I mean like,” he moves, so that he’s now facing James as well. “I love you, like I’m in love with you,” he nearly shouts at the end, and begins bracing himself for rejection. Instead, James merely blinks at him, looking at him like he’s grown two heads.

“I know what you meant, Keith,” he says, leaning forward and into Keith’s space. He feels his brain short circuit at the close proximity and looks away from James’ intense gaze and towards his nose...lips...his eyes immediately snap back up to James’, who is smiling at him knowingly. “And I mean that I love you, too.”

A moment of silence, then, “Oh.”

“Oh,” James echoes back, giggling under his breath.

“Really?”

“Really,” James replies, his tone full of conviction, as if there was ever any other option. “I’ve loved you for awhile now.”

 _Is this really happening?_ “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I had to wait till you were ready, otherwise you would’ve freaked out.”

That...makes completely sense, actually. If James had come to him when he first started realizing his feelings, he absolutely would’ve _freaked out_ and probably made some excuse to never talk about it _ever,_ inevitably damaging their friendship. Instead, James waited for him, which gave Keith the chance to discover his feelings on his own (with a little help from Shiro), at a pace that felt comfortable and safe for him...god, it was almost scary how well James knew him…

_Wait a second…_

“Oh my god,” Keith gasps, his mouth dropping open as he shoves James’ shoulder. “You dick, you knew all along!” they’re both laughing now as Keith moves to shove James again, but this time James catches his hands within his own. “You knew this whole time how I felt and you let me suffer?!”

“At least you didn’t get a talk from my friends saying that if I ever break your heart, they’re gonna break my knees.”

Keith stills; because one, _what the fuck, guys_ and two, because he’s just now realizing that during their scuffle, the distance between them became much smaller, with James still holding onto his hands, his thumbs caressing the back of Keith’s palms.

“Ugh, I hate them,” he groans, wishing the ground would just swallow him up. His discomfort must show, because soon James is squeezing his hands, applying just the right amount of pressure to ease his stress. “So…” he looks down at their hands, “What now?”

“Wanna get dinner?”

Keith sighs in relief, appreciating the distraction. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

He hops off the rock first and brushes the dust off his pants, while James jumps down beside him. The walk back into the city is quiet, but not uncomfortable. For the first time in a long while, Keith’s mind is blissfully blank, not worrying about the Galra or what his future may hold; for now, he’s simply enjoying the way James’ hand slips into his own, gently intertwining their fingers as they share a smile.

Of course, his mom is giving him a Cheshire grin throughout dinner, but thankfully doesn’t comment on James’ sudden appearance at their table or how they walked in hand in hand...judging by the glint in her eye though, he knows he’ll get barraged by her questions later.

After dinner, they make their way towards Keith’s room. He showers first while James checks in with his crew, letting the hot water wash away the dust from the desert and the sweat from the day. James hops in next and Keith begins to ready the bed. He knows James will offer to take the small couch, but he doesn’t want that; it’s been awhile since they’ve shared a bed, but whenever they do, it’s always the best sleep he's ever had. The comfort and pressure of James laying beside him, holding him close…

He blushes, sitting down on the bed and waiting for James. When he emerges, it’s in nothing but his boxers and Keith feels his cheeks redden even more. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?” James asks, hands on his hips. “My clothes were pretty dirty from earlier and I didn’t wanna mess up your room.”

“It’s f-fine,” Keith trips over his words and clears his throat, attempting to get his bearings. “I mean, I can give you one, if you want, but if you’re more comfortable without a shirt, I don’t mind…” _especially with that view_ he can’t help but think, unhelpfully.

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Keith nods, willing his blush to recede as he takes in the beauty of James in nothing but his boxers, his skin smooth and clean from the shower. He feels like he should say something else, but what? Lance would probably open up with a cheesy pickup line, like _did it hurt, when you fell from Heaven?_. Hunk would probably be just as awkward as him, but instead of quietly staring he’d ramble on and on. Pidge wouldn’t even be in this situation in the first place, so never mind. And Shiro...would probably say something dumb and cheesy, but surprisingly romantic, setting the mood just right.

“Whatcha thinking?” the bed dips and Keith glances at James, who is watching him with a concerned stare.

“Honestly,” Keith breathes out, trying to relax the tension in his shoulders and back. “I have no idea what to do right now.”

“Well, I was thinking we could just cuddle and chat, if that’s cool?”

“Really?” Keith asks, slowly unclenching his fists. “You don’t wanna like...kiss or anything?”

“Well, I certainly wouldn’t say no,” James smiles charmingly, placing a warm hand on his knee and giving it a squeeze. “But we don’t have to do that yet, if you’re not ready. Or ever, if you’re not comfortable with it,” he scooches closer and brings his hand to Keith’s cheek, his thumb brushing over the raised scar. “What do you think?”

“I think...cuddling and chatting sounds really nice,” because it does; it sounds like them, just enjoying each other’s company without any worry or pretense. “For now, at least,” he adds as an afterthought, feeling a little more confident as he gives James a grin.

There’s no mistaking the blush that comes over James’ face as he giggles, shaking his head at him. He then scoots back into the bed, grabbing Keith’s hand and pulling him along. James lays down on his back, while Keith flings an arm over his chest, his hand resting over James’ heart and feeling its steady beat. One of James’ hands moves to his hair, stroking the still wet locks, as he begins to tell Keith about a funny thing Ina said the other day.

Keith melts into the embrace, smiling.

***

Rather than have Keith fly James all the way back to Altea, Shiro says they’ll just pick him up along the way to Cardassia Prime, who have agreed to help house refugees for the time being. The two of them spend the day as they normally would when together, by training, getting into small disagreements, and poking fun at each other when the opportunity arises. A few times Keith feels himself begin to worry about their future, but whenever that happens, James always pulls him back to the present, hugging him tightly or even booping him on the nose, just to laugh at his annoyed expression afterwards.

The mid-afternoon sun is shining down as the Yellow Lion touches the surface, Shiro sending Hunk to retrieve James. They share a hug while Hunk waits, Yellow ready for James to board by laying silently on the ground, her massive jaws open.

“Well,” Keith says as James takes a step back, smiling softly when the other reaches for his already clenched fists and eases them back into a relaxed state. “I’ll see you around?”

“Of course,” James confirms, but it does nothing to ease the heavy feeling settling in his chest. “And we’ll talk in the meantime.”

“Yeah…” it’s always been hard for him, separating from his loved ones after spending time together. This time feels especially painful though, because who knows when they’ll see each other again?

“Hey,” James interrupts his worried thoughts, his voice an immediate source of comfort. “I’ll miss you too,” he says with a wink, and Keith can’t help but snort at this ridiculous dork of a man, while also feeling endlessly grateful for him and his ability to understand Keith’s feelings and his difficulty in getting words out.

James slowly drops their hands and takes a step towards the Yellow Lion, giving him one last smile over his shoulder before walking away. Keith feels the ache return, wanting nothing more than for James to stay, but he respects the other man’s mission, just like James has always respected his. It’s not gonna be easy, to make this work; Keith isn’t even sure what his future holds for him, while James is constantly in motion, jumping from planet to the next, in an attempt to help restore peace to the universe. Who knows when they’ll see each other again, or even if they will...anything could go wrong out here, in the cold vacuum of space, which makes what little time they have together that much more valuable.

“Hey, James!”

He stops and turns around, a curious expression on his face. Keith runs over and loops his arms around James’ neck, pulling him in for one last hug. “I love you,” he whispers, feeling James’ arms wrap tightly around his waist. He leans back, just a smidge, to look up into James’ eyes, seeing the love he has in them directed at him.

Without a second thought, he closes the distance between them, twining one of his hands in James’ hair. He feels James let out a soft noise of surprise, before relaxing into the kiss, delicately moving his lips against Keith’s. It’s a little uncoordinated, thanks to Keith’s lack of skill, but it’s also warm, full of love and even a few giggles when their noses bump into each others. “I love you, too,” James whispers back, smiling brightly as they break the kiss, their foreheads resting against one another's.

Keith breathes in the moment, pushing aside any lingering worries or fears.

They've got this.


End file.
